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Morning Frustration

This morning I wrote something because I was frustrated with everything that was going on doctors saying one thing, while another said an other. Till finally I calmed down after a few phone calls to a friend and someone else who explained that everything happens for a reason, but before that all I felt what I thought was anger and well when I feel like that I tend to write.

And this is what it said.



We all have our moments...
and I'm the first one to tell you that I've had many in my life, but not nearly enough to have this happen.

I've lied and said stuff to get me out of things, but never to the point were I did it to hurt some especially someone close to me.

I forget things, in fact I forget a lot of things, but never the stuff that's important.

I'm a social person and I love my friends, but you've silenced me and now I'm not myself.

You've hurt me more then anything or everyone else I've ever meet... even more then you can imagine.

NOW I'm someone I don't even recognize. I no longer know who or what I am.

You made me become a person I never wanted to become. Vulnerable!

I'm hiding from my family, I'm hiding from my friends, and most of all I'm hiding from people I LOVE!
AND! some people just don't understand...

Everyone has there moments and we have to learn to get over them. Well at least that's what people tell me, but how do you get over something like this.

How do I get out of my shell that I've builded?

How do I open up again and become the person I once was?

So much has happened and I'm always to blame. Something goes on with someone and its always my fault I'm always the one that has to be involved. WHY?!

Why is it my fault?

Why am I always to blame?

BUT! Now I know that no matter what I do or what happens to other people its always and will always be my FAULT!
So what ever has happened IT'S MY FAULT!

ALL OF THIS IS MY FAULT…
I LET THIS HAPPEN!

I LET PEOPLE DO THIS!
I'M THE IDIOT THAT ALLOWS EVERYONE TO WALK OVER HER!
So let this be another moment, but this moment is for everyone...

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