What can I say I’m always saying I’m going to do something and I don’t. Meh better late the never I guess! So I’m back you can say or even ask for how long till my next post, but I can’t even tell you, since I promised last time that I would try to do one every week. Well we all see how that worked out. Ha I guess you can say I’m a joke when it comes to blogging especially if I’m trying to talk about my life. SPS is a bitch and not even I can keep up with It sometimes.
Sooo here is here’s a gist of what’s been going on.
As I think I wrote before I had a set back. Last time since last November I felt funny I just didn’t feel myself I felt run down, the pain was going back, and I knew I was having spasms all over. So, when I went to see my endocrinologist I ask to have my GAD level tested. In reality I think I was doing it for shits a giggles to give myself a piece of mind that nothing was going on. Yeah well that didn’t happen the following week when I went to actually see the doctor for my results my level was off the charts. It had never been that high since I’ve been diagnosed. Honestly I thought okay when doctors are telling me to listen to my body they aren’t kidding. I knew something was wrong I just didn’t know what.
That same day or It could have been the following day I went to see my neurologist she was a bit upset for not mentioning before through email or however she expected for me to let her know. I mean like I said before I didn’t know what was going on. She felt that at least two dosage of IVIG booster could help out. Yeah they didn’t really do crap! For one In February I got sick with the flu or something that just would not go away. Then March infusion didn’t do anything. I mean I felt no change, but it happens with IVIG it’s always a hit or miss. You never know if you are getting a bad batch or a good one till the weeks to come. I felt I was In no mans land I couldn’t do anything as much as I wanted to I didn’t have the energy,
So it’s either March or May I’m leaning more to say May I had a follow up. Yeah of course they didn’t see any improvement. Heck I didn’t feel any improvement! Although sometimes I just have to look pretty and put on a happy face. Sometimes not even that would work with contain nagging for me to do more. Like I didn’t want to do more for myself. Yeah I just want to lay all day watch tv and do nothing. Really that’s what I want out of life. To be a bum and do nothing. Hello I didn’t want to be here In the first place. I was going places, I had my life planned for, and I knew what I wanted. I didn’t want to live in this regressing body knowing were my life could end up In. I had everything planned out. Things just don’t work that way, and I’ve learned to adapt it just take times for other to see it that way. I know what my future can hold, but at the same time I know that I can try to change that outcome.
Right now I’m living my life day by day. Doing what I can when I can. Although I’m always being pushed to try to do more. I honestly can’t listen to that I have to listen to myself and how I feel, because if it wasn’t for that feeling I’d still be trying to figure out what heck is going on.
So there is my little update.
I did have a great 31 birthday with my family. My niece is In her terrible cute twos, and my baby is always 6 he is growing up so fast. Starting 1st grade already today. OMG I’m old lol. What to look forward to hopefully going to Louisiana to visit my cousin and her family. Although with all these obstacles to try to get some damn freedom. Even if that means just staying one weekend on my own. Although my big mouth did mention to my mom how I didn’t realize how bad my balance was this bad. Shit sometimes I have to learn to keep my damn mouth shut. I want to go to Vegas again hopefully in September. I want to do so many things. I just feel weighted down not just with my SPS, but living my life in a fishbowl in constant supervision. Girl got to live her life!
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